11/13/24
Last week I hit a wall. Several things had happened that catapulted me into said wall. Each one individually may have been easy to think through and move through with little impact on my daily life. But all together, they were a wrecking ball. I literally couldn’t think straight.
So, you know I’m writing a book. It’s called Another Beautiful Life, just like the title of this podcast. I’ve been working endless hours getting it ready to be released the first week of December. We’re in the formatting stage where we put together the layout – how it’s going to look on each page. You have to worry about spacing and quotes that are set apart, and making sure the title of a section isn’t left hanging on the bottom of the page alone. It has taken me hours and hours to first, figure the programming out, as I’ve never done this before, and then to actually do it. As I’ve gone along I’ve made lots of mistakes and have had to redo the formatting. I really enjoy this kind of stuff, so it wasn’t a big deal. Until my editor wanted to make one more pass through the entire book for final revisions. Which is exactly what should’ve happened. It’s critical to make sure the sentences are concise and there are not grammar errors. BUT when that happened, it meant that I had to start all over with the formatting. Hours and hours of work…having to be redone again. When I sat down to my computer, the tears just started flowing. I couldn’t even stop. As I started to work through chapter one again, blurred through all the tears, I made so many silly mistakes. Easy things - things that now I’m an expert at for doing it for so many hours - became really hard. I just couldn’t think straight. My emotions were overwhelming my brain’s function. But why? Why did this send me over the edge? Oh my goodness – this reminds me of that cute movie Happy Feet. When the little penguin Seamore sang a song “Don’t push me ‘cause I am close to the edge. I’m tryin’ not to lose my head.” I remember singing that to my kids when they were little.
But yes, I was being pushed. Again, why? Because I actually love all the formatting stuff, crazy as it may seem. Just like I love all the techie things I have to do to get this podcast out there. I love it. So why did it wreck me?
Well, tomorrow, as I record this, November 12th, is my birthday. The day after mine, which will be the day this episode airs, November 13th is Brain’s birthday. He would’ve been 62. I am obviously grieving my loss. Again.
You’ve heard me say many times that grief doesn’t go away…ever. It just gets less intense as you go along. But it’s part of me now. It has changed me. And I will forever be grieving. Again, it’ll just look different as I go along. So that’s another thing that has my emotions messing with my brain function.
And then…there’s my birthday. Does anyone truly love their birthday? Maybe some do. But to be a widow and getting older is not what I wish for or where I expected to be. I have so many thoughts about this. And most of those thoughts are not helpful or happy. My emotions are running high. Overwhelm. It’s the best way to describe it. I began having conversations in my head about all kinds of things that would lead to misery. I may have even said things about myself that I would never say to my 5-year-old self. And things I definitely know Jesus would not say about me. But I couldn’t hear Him speaking love to my heart in that moment. I couldn’t hear Him singing songs of deliverance over me, as Psalm 32:7 says. One of my favorite verses is Zephaniah 3:17. It says, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” My brain was so unbalanced that I couldn’t hear any of this.
So that day I sat down at my computer, I’m sure I cried on and off all day. It was a mess. And it took me much longer than it should have to reformat the book because my brain was hindered. Now you might say, hey Tricia, aren’t you a Life Coach. Yes, I am. And I teach practical tools to my clients every day to get themselves out of these kinds of holes; to get out from under the crushing weight of overwhelm; to calm their nervous system and balance their brain so they can function normally. But, I’m also a human with a human brain, and I get stuck sometimes, too.
But good news. At some point the prefrontal cortex of my brain kicked in and reminded me of the tools that I have to balance my brain in that very moment. This is our goal every day – to create a well-balanced mind. Especially because our emotions are constantly reacting to external stimuli, events that trigger memories, and the brain’s natural response to be on the lookout for anything that might put us in danger. Your emotions are constantly sending you messages all day long that provide you with vital information for your survival - both physical and mental. Every single day. All day long.
We are emotional beings, and that’s good. God made us to be this way and have these experiences. But it’s not helpful when that’s the only part of our brain that’s functioning well.
We need to learn to regulate our emotions so we’re able to hear from God; So we can hear Him singing songs of love and deliverance from our overwhelm; so we can hear Him speak truth into the places we’re believing and speaking lies.
So, let’s break down the brain. I’m using the words brain and mind interchangeably here. If you want to be technical, you could consider the brain to be the actual grey matter within your skull, and the mind to be the functioning of its parts. But for this conversation I’m going to refer to them as the same thing. The parts of the brain we’re going to look at is the primal brain and pre-frontal cortex.
The Primal brain is the first part of our brain to develop. It’s all emotionally driven. It’s reactive.
This is where Fight or Flight originates and where the amygdala resides. The primal brain supports and encourages impulsive reactions to emotions. Think “Toddler Brain”. On its own, it’s like a toddler running through the house with a pair of scissors. A total terror.
And then there’s the Pre-frontal Cortex which is also known as the Executive or the Adult brain. This is where logic, reasoning, and sound decision making comes from. This part of our brain is not fully developed until much later in our life. The Pre-Frontal enables us to emotionally regulate and to have control over our body. When this part of the brain is working well, it’s able to monitor the actions of the lower brain, or primal brain, and calms strong emotions, reactions and impulses. When we are aware of the differences of the Emotional or Primal brain and the Adult brain and how they interact, it enables us to consider the emotional and physical messages coming from the primal brain and use the thinking and analyzing of the Adult brain to determine a course of action.
Doing this is creates an integrated, balanced brain. But both must be working. Yes, the primal brain, or emotional brain, is going to have the first, quickest response to our experiences. The Adult brain is secondary. By design, the primal brain actually suppresses the adult brain. That’s why it’s easy to get into overwhelm and why our emotions can run away with us. The trick is awareness. When you know this is happening or going to happen, you can have tools that steer you in the direction of a balanced mind. There are things you can do in the moment to position yourself to hear the lies you’re speaking and believing, and to hear the truth the Holy Spirit is desperately trying to get into your heart and mind. These are our weapons of warfare, for sure. Because listen, you are in a battle, my friend. Every day, your brain is doing its thing (good or bad) and when you are allowing your emotional brain to direct you, the enemy of your soul is going to try to do everything in his power to keep you from hearing from God. So, this is your responsibility to take control of your mind’s function.
God has given us the capacity, the ability, to do so: To feel better, be happier, to be more productive, to create peace around you, break generational curses, change the trajectory from one generation to the next, to improve the quality of your life and those you come in contact with, to become resilient, to increase your faith and hope, and to walk in your God-given purpose.
Friend, I encourage you this week to become aware of just how much your emotional brain is running the show. How much is it affecting how you live in your daily life? And what are the results. When your brain is not balanced, you do not have balanced thinking. All your thoughts are emotionally driven with little to no logic, reasoning, and truth. Where does that take you in your head? Next week, I want to give you some very specific tools you can use to purposefully get yourself out of the chaos and overwhelm; pull you back from the edge, and Seamore would say. I’ll see you then!
If this is a constant issue for you, I’d love to have a chat with you to see if Life Coaching could help you. I have a few more spots left open for 2025. Let’s chat! The link to my calendar is in the show notes.
Have a wonderful week, friends. See you next Wednesday for the next episode of Another Beautiful Life.
SHOW NOTES:
Your emotional brain wants to run the show, and it can adversely affect your daily life if your brain is not balanced. You’re not able to think straight when your emotional brain and your adult brain are not integrated. This can leave you in overwhelm and keep you from being able to move forward.
Join me as I give you a personal example of how my emotions started to get the better of me and literally kept me from “thinking straight.” I’ll explain how the brain functions when this is happening and tell you what to do about it.
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