Losing my husband to suicide in 2017 has been the hardest thing I've faced in my life. It comes with so many questions. The "Why?" and "How in the world?" and "Is this all just a bad dream?" thoughts constantly running through my head.
I spent a lot of time with a therapist. And while that was helpful in getting me past the PTSD and trauma and to a place where I could function normally in the day, I knew I needed something more.
As I was studying the cognitive relationship of the brain and the body in efforts to understand the suicide piece, I came across something that changed my life. Neuroplasticity.
Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to wire and re-wire itself based on patterns of thinking or repeated messages (both verbal and non-verbal) that, in turn, change the neural pathways of our brain. It literally changes what we believe and how we think.
I came to understand the power of the brain and how the things we think create how we experience our life.
When the Bible tells us in Romans 12:2 to have our minds transformed, it's for two reasons: 1) we're likely to need our minds transformed, and 2) they can be transformed.
So when God whispered, "Tricia, you can live another beautiful life," I knew that with His help I could. I also knew that there was a practical way, something I could do. And that began with choosing to say "yes" to another beautiful life; choosing to cooperate with Him in the healing, freedom, and possibility of stepping into something beautiful again.
So, understanding that the mind could be wired and re-wired, I set about discovering the truth that the power to living another beautiful life after loss, tragedy, brokenness was found in my ability to uncover the lies I was believing and discovering what was true.
Now, I'm using these new discoveries every day to create the life I love and live another beautiful life.
I honor my husband's memory by healing and moving forward in beauty. Certainly, it's what he would want. In this way I also honor our three amazing adult children, who are a reminder of his strength, creativity, and kindness every time I look into their faces.
Today, I am living another beautiful life!