Episode 188 - Practice, practice, practice
- Tricia Zody
- Mar 26
- 9 min read
3/26/25
Hi friends! Welcome to Another Beautiful Life, episode 188.
One thing that I constantly hear from my life coaching clients is, “How do I make these new thoughts my default thinking?” They’re learning how to identify and take captive all those negative thoughts, perceptions, and assumptions that have been making them miserable for many years. And then they’re digging deep to discover their core beliefs that are driving those negative thoughts and, instead, lining them up with God’s truth. This is what creates all those wonderful, abundant, life-giving new thoughts they want. The ones they want to think from now on. By default.
I’ve just recently said the same thing to myself after a pretty intense encounter. I was riding my bike to the grocery store the other day, and I got off to walk it across in a pretty busy 4-way stop intersection. I waited for what I thought was “my turn” as the guy beside me waved me on. But as I was crossing to the other side, a car in the on-coming traffic lane began to go, obviously ignoring the pedestrian right of way. She literally slammed her brakes inches from me and my bike. Then she began to yell at me from inside her car, and I noticed she was using all kinds of expletives. At me! Like I did something wrong. Anyway, what I wanted to do was park my bike and go over to her window and school her on pedestrian right of way in Texas. In fact, there is a Lisa Torry Smith Act of 2021 making it a crime to kill or injure a pedestrian, cyclist, or other vulnerable road user in a crosswalk. This young girl obviously didn’t know that, and I needed to tell her. No, I didn’t. Because I also am smart enough to know that entitled people like her usually road rage and don’t mind harming another person. But my first reflex was to defend myself by telling her what she was doing wrong. Now, as I continued to reflect on this incident, I kept hearing the verse from Colossians 3, verse 2, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” The Message Bible says, “Don’t be so absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up and be alert to what is going on around Christ – that’s where the action is.” And then here’s the kicker, “See things from His perspective.” Jesus is asking me to see that incident, and that young girl, from His perspective. So, how do I do that? How do I make that my default thinking? I want to think like that all the time. Not like my current default stinkin’ thinkin’. But how?
Practice, practice, practice. That’s the name of this episode.
Let me tell you why I say that. We can use brain science – the way our brains function – to create faith-based renewal. So, let’s talk about what’s going on in your brain so you can get it to work for you, not against you - that current default stuff.
Every day, your brain is forming new synaptic connections. It’s connecting thoughts to events, and events to emotions. This is happening as you learn something new, or simply through your daily interactions. Your brain is also reinforcing connections that are already there as you think on those things, or rehearse and replay things in your mind. Actions also reinforce synaptic connections – actions like habits, or even practicing a skill. You’re making those connections stronger. And this is creating deep, neural ruts in your brain.
Now, sometimes what we’re reinforcing or creating new is not what we want. We don’t want to school some young driver who clearly needs to go back to driving school. Instead, we want to see her the way Christ sees her – as someone who needs the love of the Father to bring peace and healing to her life. And we want our actions to reflect that. The response in our body is so much different with this perspective than getting angry. Believe me. Even though there wasn’t outward action on my part, inside I was heated. But a new perspective creates so much compassion here, and that changes everything.
The gift God gave us is the ability to make these kinds of changes. I’ve said that before. So, spiritually, because the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives inside you (Romans 8, verse 11), we have the power to be like Christ, to think like He does, and act like He does. If you read the first several chapters of Colossians, you’ll notice there are imperative commands all over the place. Through the Apostle Paul, God says, “Put to death what is earthly in you.” “Put away your old ways.” “Put on the new self.” He’s telling us we must do something about it. We must take action. Yes, His Holy Spirit helps us, but we must actively engage in the process. And we do this by renewing our minds – Romans 12, verse 2.
So, here’s how we do this. Here’s how we use our brain’s natural God-given design for our benefit. First, pruning. The third of the brain’s motivational triad is to operate in efficiency. One way it accomplishes this is by pruning off or eliminating information that is weak or deemed unessential purely by its use. This ensures only the most valuable information is retained. And the brain, get this, only knows what’s “valuable” by the number of “hits” it gets. If thoughts or beliefs are not supported by your time and attention, the neurons shrink from disuse, and they get pruned off. If you stop feeding the negative thoughts, eventually they’re going to die.
And that brings us to a second way to use our brain’s natural design: feeding. It reminds me of the story of the two wolves inside us that we feed. The wolves represent that which is negative and positive within. The moral of the story is that whichever wolf you feed – the negative or the positive – that’s the one that will win the battle every time.
Conversely, if you stop feeding a skill, it too will die. Which is why I don’t remember any French from my high school studies. This “selective forgetting” is an adaptive mechanism that helps the brain stay fresh. But note, that if you stop feeding a belief, it too will weaken and die. This is all good and bad news for us. See, because the brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s good to keep and what’s bad to keep, it just goes about its function. This is where you and your will – your desires, your decisions, and your determination – come into play and direct it. You decide how many “hits” one belief over another gets. You get to decide what you feed.
You can “feed” or reinforce thoughts and behaviors several ways. One, understand that you have the power to direct your mind to what you want it to keep and what you want it to release. As you reflect on positive moments or experiences, you are making the memory of them stronger. Remember, the stronger synapsis are the ones that get kept. You can regularly reflect on God’s truth, and that will be at the forefront of your mind because it’s important information. It’s getting a lot of “hits.” Whatever you want the brain to retain, give it your time and attention.
What you don’t want the brain to retain, starve it. Which is also called “cognitive fasting.” Now this is a hard one because those synapses may already be so strong with deep neural ruts. And they’ll come up a lot. This is where we take those thoughts captive – 2 Corinthians 10, verse 5 – and replace it with truth. That’s the plan of action. That’s how you do it. By practice, practice, practice. Practice the truth.
I suggest to my coaching clients that they make a list of truths they believe. We call it Truth Agreements. And when those negative thoughts come up again, you just whip out that Truth Agreement and replace the lies with all the beautiful God-filled truths. This begins the “cognitive fasting” process by offering an alternative thought. Soon, the brain will have tw o trains of thought to offer you in a given instance. And then you’ll get to choose which one you want. The more you don’t choose the negative thought - not giving it “hits” – the more you brain will consider that unnecessary information to eventually prune off. But again, it takes practice. You’re going to have to do it over and over again to convince your brain that the old stuff is now irrelevant in your life. But I’m telling you, this works! I’ve got evidence from my clients – and myself, and also a ton of brain research proving this true. You can help the brain sort out what should be retained and what can be pruned. Then you practice the thoughts again. As the more “hits” those new positive thoughts get, the stronger a connection you’re creating.
The third way we can use our brain’s natural design to work for our healing is through sleep. During sleep, the brain is getting rid of toxins and brain waste. One article I read said metabolic waste is flushed out, including excess proteins like beta-amyloid, which is associated with Alzheimer’s disease. Okay, so we can see how important sleep is. But also during sleep, some amazing things are happening for your physical, mental, and emotional health. Your brain is figuring out where to file all the things and people and experiences you’ve had in the day. The hippocampus – the memory center – and the neocortex – responsible for sensory perception, cognition, motor skills, and language – those two work together to transfer short-term memory into long-term storage. It’s at this stage that the brain decides which memories to keep and which to prune away. I really want to do a whole episode on memories soon, but one of the determinants in this decision is how strong or intense the emotions are attached to the memory.
Then there’s a whole lot of processing of emotions that’s going on during REM sleep to reduce the intensity of negative experiences. REM sleep is the time your eyes are rapidly moving back and forth, which is where the founder of EMDR therapy – that’s Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing – got her research for healing fragmented perceptions.
Also, you can prompt your brain to focus on positive emotions and thoughts in the night during REM sleep. A great way to do this is with a gratitude journal just before bed You’re reminding the brain of the good in life. Reciting God’s truth is another great way to prime the brain for positive dreams in the REM sleep stage.
And did you know you can also stop a bad dream? Have you ever had a bad dream, woken up for a bit, then went back to sleep and the bad dream just picked up where you left off? I have and it’s awful. But since doing more research on sleep and dreams, I’ve discovered that just like you can direct your brain on what to think about during the day – to take thoughts captive and create new positive neural ruts of thinking – you can direct your brain regarding your dreams. Recently, I had a bad dream and woke up. I literally told my brain, “This is not what I want to be thinking about when I sleep.” And then I gave it a few suggestions just for good measure. It works. The brain is looking for direction. It’s looking for someone to tell it what to do, and hopefully that’s you. You have the power to do so.
Friend, the same way your brain removes what’s unnecessary, God is constantly at work, pruning and refining you. That’s John 15, verse 2. By working with your brain’s natural God-given design, you can experience deeper emotional healing and spiritual renewal. But it will take practice - taking captive those negative thoughts and redirecting your mind towards God’s truth. And soon you’ll look up and those positive thoughts will be your default. So, practice, practice, practice.
Don’t forget to grab my Listener’s Guide that has a few prompt questions and action steps to help you work through this topic. The link is in the show notes.
Also, if you like the content of this podcast and you’re seeing value out of it to change your own life, consider passing it along to a friend. Or all your friends. What an amazing opportunity to grow together. And it would be lovely if you would rate and review this podcast, too, so that more and more people can find it and learn how to integrate their faith with brain retraining to step into another beautiful life for themselves.
Thanks so much for listening, friend. I pray each day you’ll make it your intention to create another beautiful life.
SHOW NOTES:
What are your “default” thoughts? What are your “default” actions? Are you pleased with either of these? Do you wish you would think more positively and act more Christlike? Would you like that to be your “default”?
Change is possible but it’s going to take practice, practice, practice. That’s because deep neural ruts and connections have been formed in our brains by our past “default.”
Today we discuss how to make those changes we so desperately need and want by working with the brain’s natural God-given design. The brain is designed to eliminate unnecessary connections and strengthen important ones. This means we have the ability to let go of negative thoughts, painful memories, and lie-based beliefs—while reinforcing faith, peace, and truth.
I’ll give you three areas to focus on to begin to make that change: pruning, feeding and fasting, and sleep.
Resources Mentioned:
· For more tools, questions for reflection, and resources to help you on your journey, download the Listener's Guide for this episode: https://www.triciazody.com/guide
Scriptures Mentioned:
· Colossians 3:2, Romans 8:11, Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5, John 15:2
Are you wondering how Life Coaching works? Would you like a free, 30-minute session? Click this link to set up a Consult Call: https://calendly.com/triciazodylifecoach/30min
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