11/6/24
“I want to be more dependent on God,” said no one ever. Okay, maybe someone has actually said that. But do you know what it’s going to take to get you there? It’s kinda like praying for patience. And we all know how that goes. Just something you probably don’t want to do.
People who have been through it; people who have had their worlds turned upside down, heart shattered in a thousand pieces, people who have hit rock-bottom; these people know a level of dependence on God that most people will never know. Is that you, friend?
Timothy Keller was a beloved pastor, preacher, theologian, and bestselling author who passed away from cancer May of 2023. Keller was quoted as saying that cancer and the possibility of facing death was what radically transformed his prayer life. It forced him to be still and practice the presence of God in the middle of the chaos. He said, “My greatest fear is returning to the spiritual state I was in prior to my diagnosis, as I’ve learned to truly depend on God amid my illness.”
He said, “I never want to go back to that because in spite of all the things I've already preached, I wasn't a hypocrite exactly, but the reality is that most of us say we need to depend on God, but we actually think we've got it sorted.”
He argues that when our circumstances position us to truly understand our desperation and need, that’s what opens us up to genuine dependence on God. He continues, “We can only be dependent upon God to the degree of our felt or known desperation or need of dependence.” In other words, your awareness of just how much you need Him to help, provide, sustain, guide, etc. dictates you level or degree of dependence.
And you only really know your need of dependence when you are in crisis. When we’re comfortable, we don’t seem to have this desperate need of God. But when we’re in the valley, when things aren’t going well, that’s when we recognize our desperate need to depend upon God. AND we can look back and see how little we depended upon Him before. That’s what Timothy Keller was saying. That’s why he felt like he was somewhat of a hypocrite. But you can’t see what you can’t see.
There’s a worship song I’ve sung a thousand times at church. The lyrics of the chorus are “You’re all I want. You’re all I’ve ever needed.” Do you know that song? It’s called Draw Me Close. A bit of an older worship song. I sang that in church believing that I believed it.
But when Brian died, I realized I was being a hypocrite. Because I don’t think I really believed that. I couldn’t say those words anymore. In my pain, I said “I want you, Jesus, but I want my husband back. I want my security back.” I didn’t know what it was to truly depend upon God. I depended upon Brian. For my financial provisions, for my security, for companionship, for love, encouragement. I was only able to depend upon God to the degree of my felt need. Regardless of how much I said I was dependent, and tried to be dependent, you can only understand to the degree that you know. And as long as Brian was around, I wasn’t desperately dependent upon God. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Keller’s comment, “My greatest fear is returning to the spiritual state I was in prior to my diagnosis,” is very telling. It is obvious that he learned a new level of faith in his crisis as he ceased from the striving and hustle of life to be still and be in God’s presence. He could tell something was different. He could feel it.
This is what I experienced, too, after my husband passed away. Trauma can certainly pull the rug out from under your feet, knock you to your knees, and show you just how vulnerable and out of control you are. It makes you extremely aware of your need for a Sovereign, Omnipotent Rescuer. And knowing that you have very little control over anything in your life constrains you to depend upon this Rescuer.
I talk about this in more detail in my book, Another Beautiful Life: A Christian’s Journey to Finding Peace and Hope in the Brokenness. It’s going to be released, y’all, in December of this year, 2024. And I talk about these concepts in Chapter 2 called Rest, My Beloved and in Chapter 4: Learning to Live One Day At A Time. If you want to get on the discounted pre-sale list, sign up at triciazody.com/book. The link will also be in the show notes.
What I have found is that in the middle of the crisis, it feels like God is extending an invitation to come near, come into His presence, and to be intentionally still; To learn to rest in faith of who He is and in what He has provided through His Son, Jesus Christ. It’s here that we can finally let go of trying to control everything and live so independently. That’s a myth anyway, right? We’re not in control. And we cannot depend upon ourselves to get us through this life in peace and with hope. We’re a mess, and we know it. Why would we try to depend upon ourselves?
Oswald Chambers said, “What is my vision of God's purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish. His purpose is the process itself. It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.”
This taught me that if I learn to depend on God and on His power now, then I should be able to “stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life.” Though I know I have experienced peace in turmoil before, but to stay there? To stay calm, and faithful, and unconfused? That is another thing altogether. It sounds like that is exactly the kind of dependence God is looking for, though. It sounds like this is His purpose and His goal. “His purpose is the process itself,” Chambers said, “It’s the process, not the outcome” to get us to a place where we are wholeheartedly His.
No doubt you’ve heard the saying, “If you’re not currently going through something, then you’ve probably just come out of something, or you’re about to go through it.” The idea that you could increase your dependence on God now to prepare you for the chaos or turmoil that’s ahead, comes from your awareness of just how vulnerable and out of control you are. It makes you extremely aware of your need for a Sovereign, Omnipotent Rescuer.
Friend, when you understand that that’s why Jesus came, to rescue us from ourselves, from our weakness, from our sin. To give us peace, comfort, and an abundant life here on earth, as well as eternally with Him. When you are aware of this kind of need, you will be able to open yourself up to depending more and more on His benevolent care and sovereign power over your life. There’s so much peace here. This is what He’s looking for and this level of dependence is what He’s calling you to today.
Hey, are you familiar with the term Neurotheology? It’s where your brain and your faith meet. If you’d like to have a quick conversation about your personal neurotheology, there’s a link in the show notes for a free 30-minute call. This link is also good if you’re interested in finding out more about Life Coaching.
Also, grab the Listener’s Guide that complements this episode so you can work this out on your own.
Have a wonderful week, friends. See you next Wednesday for the next episode of Another Beautiful Life.
SHOW NOTES:
When we’re comfortable, we don’t seem to have this desperate need of God. But when we’re in the valley, when things aren’t going well, that’s when we recognize our desperate need to depend upon God.
People who have been through it, people who have had their worlds turned upside down, heart shattered in a thousand pieces, people who have hit rock-bottom; these people know a level of dependence on God that most people will never know. Is that you, friend?
Total dependence on God is a new level of faith that allows us to “stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life” (Oswald Chambers). But how do we get there? Can we get to that level of dependence before we ever experience the turmoil of life? God is inviting us to learn to rest in Him and find Him as our benevolent, Sovereign, Rescuer as we become more and more aware of our need of Him in our life.
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