So let’s continue to identify those things that are keeping us from living an abundant life. There are three things that sabotage our lives. Last week we identified saboteur number one: Living false perceptions & lie-based assumptions.
When we’re able to identify the things that are sabotaging our abundant life and put effort towards making changes to eradicate them from our lives, we’re able to walk in the fullness of life Jesus intends. We’re free to walk in our God-ordained purpose.
And listen, Satan would love to pull you back into complacency to keep you from your purpose.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “ For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
God has designed something specific for you to do from the day you were born.
And if the Adversary can keep you hidden in the corner, you’re not a threat to him.
It’s when you’re living your authentic self, doing what God has purposed you to do that you scare the heck out of him. Let’s do that, okay?
Alright, the abundant-life saboteur number two is giving away your agency.
‘Agency’ is defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices. It’s where you decide who you are and who you are not. It is your ability to separate your own thoughts and feelings from those of others and to take responsibility for what you think, feel and do. It refers to the thoughts and actions taken by people that express their individual power - their independence. ‘Agency’ is taking responsibility for your life through self-regulatory skills.
But it’s possible that you’re giving your agency or power away every day.
Because most of the time we think someone’s behavior or words are making us feel a certain way. When you say, “He just makes me so mad.” Then what you’re truly saying is that he has the power over you - to dictate how you’re going to feel. When we blame someone for how we’re feeling we give away our agency, our personal power, and now they get to determine how our lives go. If we have to wait to see how we’re going to feel in a day based on someone else’s actions, behavior, or words, then we’re powerless. At their mercy. And that’s awful because who the heck knows how they’re going to be today. Do you see - do you feel the powerlessness there?
Here are some ways you know you’ve given away your agency to someone or something else:
· You can’t make your own decisions
· You can’t ask for what you need
· You can’t say “no”
· You can’t speak up
· You feel criticized when you do speak up
· You feel responsible for other people’s feelings
· You seem to take on other people’s moods
· Your identity is wrapped up in someone else
· You are often nervous, anxious, or resentful around certain people
· You are taking responsibility for another person’s feelings
· You are letting another’s feelings dictate your own
· You are sacrificing your own needs to please another
· You are blaming others for your problems or your moods
· You are accepting responsibility that belongs to someone else
Remember, agency means that you have the capacity to make decisions for your life that are alone your responsibility, no one else. No one gets to tell you what to do - except for your Heavenly Father. You alone are responsible for how you feel. You get to decide how you want to feel. Regardless of anyone else around you.
No one else has to “make” you happy. You literally have the agency to decide to be happy. Just like you have the agency to choose to be mad. But don’t blame someone else for something that you chose. That’s acting in emotional childhood. For more detail about emotional childhood, listen to episode number 77 - People are not always loving and loyal. I promise you, most of us live our lives in emotional childhood as opposed to emotional adulthood. You know you’re acting in emotional childhood when 1) You are blaming someone or something for how you feel, and 2) You take responsibility for someone else’s emotions.
But we should be taking full responsibility for the feelings we’re having. Taking full responsibility for ourselves…and only ourselves. That’s emotional adulthood behavior.
Friend, when you do this, you end up so much more empowered and get to be the person you truly want to be. And who God made you to be. Giving your power away sabotages the abundant life. Remember, Jesus said He came to give you Zoë life - that’s a fullness of life empowered to be who God created you to be - your amazing, individual self.
Perhaps you’ve just had an ah-ha moment and realized you’ve been giving your agency away to someone or something or living in emotional childhood for a long time. If you’d like some help here, it would be my privilege to be your Life Coach.
I’ve put a link in the show notes for a free 30-minute call just so we can see if we’re a good fit to work together and show you how Life Coaching would work for you.
Also, don’t forget to get the free, downloadable guide that complements this episode. It has a few prompt questions that will help you personally work through some of the things I’ve talked about today. The link is in the show notes. It’s like a little Life Coaching at home.
Have a wonderful week, friends. See you next Wednesday for the next episode of Another Beautiful Life.