This is week two where I’m introducing the secrets to F.I.X. Your Husband. As you can tell, “Fix” is an acronym. F is for feelings, I for intimacy, and X is the X-factor - the secret ingredient transforms everything.
Before we dive in, I want to let you know that the free F.I.X. Your Husband workshop is tomorrow evening, September 22nd at 7pm central time. I’m going to go into depth into each one of these in the FIX method, and let you know more about the secret ingredient, the X-Factor, that’s guaranteed to change everything. You may have tried everything to get things in your relationship the way you want them. You may have even considered all kinds of things - that may even consist of separation or divorce. What I’m going to share with you is an option most people haven’t told you about before. And it’s not going to require you to give up your amazing strength or your independence or agency. You’re not going to have to sacrifice yourself. At all.
This program is for married women, no matter how long, and you realize something is “off” with your relationship. It’s just not what you wish it was. Or, your marriage isn’t awful. But you think, “Boy, if I could just fix him in this one area things would be so much better.”
And here’s something great: you can come and learn how to Fix Your Husband without anyone knowing - not your friends, not your mother, and not even your husband.
But one thing I promise is that it’ll make such a shift in your relationship that your husband will thank you. So go register now at triciazody dot com slash fix.
Okay, let’s dive in to the “I” in F.I.X. Your Husband.
This week, we’re going to focus on intimacy. Intimacy is defined as a “a closeness in familiarity or friendship.” It’s an opportunity to be cared for, known, understood, and loved for who we are. Intimacy allows us to be vulnerable and comfortable around our partner no matter what. Like, even if we have zits on our face or we’ve gained a few pounds. No matter what. Feeling like we can be 100% ourselves, bad breath in the morning and all, is the ultimate in intimacy. And so right off the bat, let me tell you that intimacy is not just sex. But it definitely includes sex. The act of sex was created by God and your desire for physical intimacy with your spouse is not “unholy.”
So, there are many types of intimacy that allows a couple to feel that sense of connectedness.
The interesting thing is that men and women feel connected for different reasons. But there are some things that can be done to bring that feeling of connectedness back at any stage.
But, let’s look at some of the most important types of intimacy that creates and safeguards connectedness. And I’m going to go into more depth on each of these in the workshop tomorrow night. We’re going to look at Intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy.
Intellectual intimacy is getting to know each other’s minds: how you think, what you believe about the things of the world. It’s something we do in the beginning quite a bit as we’re getting to know one another. It’s typical that once you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you stop asking and exploring each other’s thoughts and beliefs thinking you know already. However, as we age and experience life, we grow and change. We should never stop getting to know our spouse.
Emotional intimacy is sharing how you feel about life’s experiences. It’s easy to get emotional intimacy confused with intellectual intimacy. Especially men. But intellectual intimacy discusses topics and the subsequent thoughts about those topics. Where emotional intimacy discusses experiences and feelings. It’s possible that most men have the most difficulty with this kind of intimacy because they have less emotional vocabulary than women and tend to be less comfortable with emotional talk. We’ll talk more about how this becomes a source of conflict for men and women at the workshop. I’ll also teach you how to show him how to support you emotionally. It’s a game changer.
There are also ways to make an emotional connection with your loved one, which we’ll talk about, but I want to mention one of them now. And that is understanding and connecting with your spouse’s love language. This is based on Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. Knowing your spouse’s love language and understanding how to speak love in a way that creates emotional connectedness is a tool you’ll want in your toolbelt. If you don’t know your own love language, which will make a significant difference when experiencing and giving love to your spouse, you can take the quiz on Gary Chapman’s website. I’ll put the link to the quiz in the show notes. Understanding yourself and your spouse in this way will be so beneficial.
Okay, moving on. Physical intimacy what most people think of when they hear the word “intimacy.” But this includes but is not limited to sexual activity. There is also nonsexual physical intimacy such as holding hands, cuddling on the couch, or a hug. But this could lead to something more, which is usually what men are thinking - or hoping - will happen, which is one of the biggest complaints for women. And the interesting thing is that women most feel like having sex with their husbands with they feel a deep, emotional connection. And, conversely, men feel a deep, emotional connection with their wives when they’ve had sex. Do you wonder why God made it this way? Oh, what to do?!
We’re going to talk about how getting the intimacy YOU desire will actually fix your husband in the workshop. Be sure to be there!
The last type of intimacy, which is actually the most foundational, is spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy can be considered the rudder that moves and guides all the other types of intimacy. If spiritual intimacy is high, then the other types of intimacy will stay buoyant as the tides of life rise and fall. Spiritual intimacy comes from being in the word together, praying with one another, and worshiping together. When we’re connected this way, we can expect to grow in similar ways and therefore grow together — Not apart.
If this is not happening currently in your marriage, I want to give you an amazing resource to start allowing you to feel a spiritual connection with your husband - even without his participation. And this is to pray FOR spouse. This is not praying that God will fix him. But praying for his favor and God’s goodness in his life, his job, and his relationships. Pray for contentment, satisfaction, and fulfilment in his life. The resource I want to direct you to is the book The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. It’s a book that will direct you and give you prayer prompts for areas like his work, finances, his purpose, his integrity, his attitude, and so much more. The very first subject is praying for his wife. When I first read it, the prompt prayer stopped me cold. It says, “Give my husband a new wife, and Lord, let it be me.” Wow. I love this book so much and my copy is worn out, marked up, and dog eared. I promise you this book will help create a deeper spiritual connection, with or without him participating.
Again, we’ll talk more about this at the workshop. I can’t wait to share all this information with you.
I want to end by telling you the one thing that will enhance every one of these types of intimacy. And that is communication. It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your desire and your LEVEL of desire for each of these types of intimacy. We’ve got to stop assuming that our spouse can read our minds and/or knows what we want. I can assure you, they can’t and they don’t. When you put aside that thought error you’re able to come vulnerably and honestly in a way that actually gets the results you want.
Friend, it’s so crazy how we can make some small, subtle shifts to finally get what we’ve always wanted. And that’s a F.I.X.ed husband. And I realize you can’t see this, unless of course you read the podcast transcript, but that “fixed” husband is actually the acronym F. I. X. - Feelings, Intimacy, and the X-Factor.
The X-factor is what we’ll focus on next week. It’s golden and promises to be transformative. The women I’ve been sharing the X-Factor with have literally said the information was mind blowing and something they’ve never heard before. So, don’t miss the workshop tomorrow because I’m going to give you all those secrets in detail. And then we’ll wrap up by giving you a few things to implement that I guarantee will produce immediate, positive results. Register today! I want so much to see your husband F.I.X.ed.
Hey friend, I’ve created a one-page guide with prompts to take a look at your level of intimacy as we apply the F.I.X. Your Husband method. Just click the link in the show notes to get access to it. You’ll also gain free, life-time access to almost all of the past podcast episodes. Well, almost all - it’s a growing library right now.
Okay, have a wonderful week, friends. See you next Wednesday for the next episode of Another Beautiful Life podcast.