Hello, my friends. Before we dive in, I want to real quick tell you about a free training I’ve done that will transform the way you live your life forever. If you’re a Christian and you feel like you’re not experiencing the fullness of life that Jesus said He came to give, then this is for you! It’s a training that’s valued at $125, but it’s free. Head on over to my website, triciazody.com, and just wait for that little box to pop up. That’s how you’ll get it. Super simple. Free and life changing! What could be better?! Go, do that!
Okay, so welcome to Episode number 70 - Hurry Up And Wait
We live in a world of instant gratification. Right? And we tend to get impatient with waiting. We want what we want now. That is our primal brain at work, for sure. The first of the motivational triad is to seek pleasure. And honestly, the brain will take anything - anything - that will give it a dopamine hit. Even if it’s buying something on a credit card when you know you can’t afford to pay cash for it now.
I am currently experiencing a situation in my life where I am forced - pretty much - to delay gratification; to deny what my flesh wants now in order to get the greater thing. And even though the delay in this particular scenario truly is out of my hands, the way that I respond to it is the most important thing.
Did you know you could cook a steak in the microwave? Yeah, you can. But it’s not going to look or taste very good. It’s going to have that pasty brown color. It’s going to be dry and hard to cut into. And the microwaves will zap any flavor right out of it. But instead if you slow marinated the steak, let it come to room temperature, and then patiently grilled it to perfection, you would have the most delicious, tender, cut-it-like-butter piece of meat. The flavors would hit your palate in an explosion, making your brain freak out with dopamine. The delay - the time when your brain knew what was coming but was forced to wait - created such a satisfying pleasure in your mouth and your brain says, yes please give me more. Okay now I’m hungry.
Okay, steak is not your thing? It could be anything. Is there something you could get now or make happen now, but you’d be taking a short-cut, or maybe even settling, in order to have it now? What is that thing for you? For some people it’s shopping. And it’s not necessarily the thing that they’re purchasing that gives their brain the dopamine hit. It’s the actual purchase itself. If you’ve even known someone with a shopping addiction, you’ll know it because their closet is full of unworn clothes with the tags still hanging on them. Just to see the shirt or whatever in their closet with the tag hanging down reminds them of their purchase and then the brain gets a little more dopamine, just in the remembering. But then the brain says, yes please, give me more. And out to the mall they run.
In my personal situation, even though it’s seemingly out of my hands with regards to the waiting, it’s in the waiting that I am learning to surrender to God. See, I am one who pretty much has lived my life in a hurry wanting the next thing.
When I was young, I wanted to hurry up and get married. Then I wanted to hurry up and have babies. And even though we waited four years before having our first child, every day, every month, every year was just a day to cross off on my calendar as I waited. I doubt I allowed myself the pleasure of enjoying the present, the now moments, because I was so fixated on what I wanted. Then, when we finally had kids and they were infants, I couldn’t wait for them to walk and talk. Then I couldn’t wait for them to be able to feed themselves. Then I couldn’t wait for the day they could drive themselves to early morning sports practice. And then all the sudden I looked around and they were gone. Off into the world making their own lives.
When I drive, I always seem to be in a hurry. Not because I’m late. In fact, arriving five minutes early to an appointment is five minutes too late in my book. So, I always make sure I’ve got plenty to time to get where I’m going. But even though I’ve allotted for the correct travel time, I still find myself hurrying in traffic. It doesn’t make any sense! When I hear people say that they purposefully drive slow, I’m like, why? I mean honestly, why? Why would you want to do that? When you can hurry and drive fast?
But now this thing in my present life, this slowing down…way down…way slower than I would normally go is forcing me to surrender to it. Actually, I do have a choice here. I can choose to slow down and delay the gratification, to deny what I want now for a greater thing later, I can choose to stay in this process for the possibility of something that will blow my mind, or I can just walk away. Or I could even rush the process and get something ok, maybe even good, but definitely not the best. And God definitely wants me to have the best. His best.
But this is not easy. We tend to want what we want, and we want it now. And again, that’s coming from our primal brain that wants the reward of a dopamine hit from that instant gratification. But it’s also being supported by our natural, fleshly desires.
Being able to be patient and not letting our natural flesh want to just run out and grab the thing we want is truly an act of God. No, I mean it. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit. That means that patience is a by-product of having the Spirit of God within us. And as we let Him, He’s able to work in us, giving us the desire to obey Him and the power to do what is right. That’s the truth that we find in Philippians 2:13. Patience is the will to wait. Our will (that’s part of our Soul that we talked about last week in Episode 69 - Soul Keeping) - It’s our will that’s able to step in and change the thought patterns of the mind. And in this case, the mind that’s looking for instant gratification and a dopamine hit. It’s the will that determines self-control. Self-control is also one of the fruits of the Spirit. I know, it’s not my favorite “fruit” either. But self-control is the wisdom to step outside of our “I got to have it now” thinking, maybe even deny ourselves and our fleshly desires, and make decisions for ourselves from a place of spiritual maturity that leads us to God’s very best for us. God wants me and you to have the best. And sometimes we have to hurry up and wait.
So, let’s talk about hurry up and wait.
Wikipedia says that "Hurry up and wait" is a phrase used to refer to the situation in which one is forced to hurry in order to complete a certain task, or arrive at a certain destination, by a specified time; only for nothing to happen at that time, often because other required tasks are still awaiting completion. It’s a military phrase that originated in the 1940s. The dictionary suggests that the reason that you have to wait - after hurrying - is because of another person or event; waiting for them to do something or for something else to happen. Sounds logical for the military. But, for the regular ‘ole civilian, ugh sounds painful.
But sometimes we need to wait because not waiting is actually destructive to our lives. God, in His infinite love and power and ultimate wisdom, knows if something is the best thing for you and me. So, it is in our best interest to hurry up - but not in the sense that I’ve been in a hurry all my life. But hurry in the sense that we go ahead, do it quickly - kind of like the military does - to run and get in position, in order to surrender to and agree with wanting to get God’s best. Yes, hurry and do that. But that often means we will have to wait if we want the best thing. Don’t take the “second-best” just because it’s available now. Wait on God’s best. Never settle for anything less than the best.
The Bible has many stories that were included for the reader’s good. Romans 15:4 says that everything that was written in the past was written to teach us. And there are many stories of people settling for “good” when God had His best in mind for them: Eve in the center of the Garden with an apple in her hand, Abraham saying “Okie doke” to Sarah’s plan for a baby, King David seeing something pleasurable and taking it. So, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, each writer tells the story in order to teach us; to allow us to see the consequences of settling for second-best - when God had a “best” plan all along. And waiting for His timing, waiting for Him to act, waiting for Him make things “the best” without taking things in our own hands and going ahead of Him, is always the wise thing to do. Hard, yes. But your impatience and your desire for instant gratification, to satisfy your fleshly desires, will only give you what this world has to offer.
The spiritually mature thing to do - to determine to have self-control and to utilize your will to override your primal brain, and even if that means having to make some really hard decisions - decisions that the world might not understand - using your will and self-control to guide those decisions leads to your blessing and great delight as you finally get to step into the very best thing…that thing that will blow your mind because it’s God’s best for you. Never settling. And it’ll be so totally worth it. It will be so worth every moment of delayed gratification. So totally worth the struggles against our fleshly desires and our “I want what I want when I want it” attitudes. Getting God’s best means that you have to lay down even the idea that you think you know what’s best for you.
So, friend, what is in front of you that you want to get? And I’m right here with ya. Doing the hurrying up and waiting thing right with ya. What is it that you want right now? Well, hurry up. Hurry up and get into position. Get into a place of surrender. Hurry up and get into a place where you’ve determined to wait on God’s very best for you. Tell Him you refuse to settle for second-best. Hurry up and wait...as God is working out a thousand tiny things behind the scenes - (as the dictionary reminds us) that we’re waiting perhaps for another person or event - waiting for them to do something or for something else to happen - God is working all these things out in order for the best to come to you. Hurry up and wait, my friend.
Friend, is this an area that you struggle in? Do you find yourself getting impatient and jumping out ahead of God in order to get what you want? If that’s you, you just need the tools to be able to use your will and self-control to delay that gratification in order to get God’s best for your life. I’d love to be your Life Coach and teach you these tools that will radically transform your life.
I’ve put a link in the show notes to my calendar to book at quick 30-minute chat to see if we’re a good fit to work together. Or you can visit my website tricizody.com and send me an email there. And while you’re there, don’t forget to grab that free training that you can apply today to begin experiencing your life in a whole new way.
Okay, have a beautiful week, friends! See you next Wednesday for the next episode of Another Beautiful Life podcast.
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