Hello friends! Welcome back to the podcast. Before we jump in, just curious, how many of you are not experiencing life like you’d like to. Like, you have an idea of how your life should be going and it’s just not. And what if I told you I had onesecret that I could share with you that would radically change your life and would bring peace, and joy, and fulfillment into your life with just that one secret. Would you want it? Well, I’ve got it for you. It’s right there on my website just waiting for you to grab for free. Jump over there at triciazody.com and get it, and transform your life today!
Okay, welcome to episode number 71 - She Believed She Could, So She Did
So, when my daughter was in college, she made this special jar for me for Christmas and it’s been sitting on my nightstand for years. She decoupaged the outside with paper with musical notes all over it in beige, cream, and teal (my favorite combo) then wrapped the outside with a beautiful teal grosgrain ribbon. Inside she folded little love notes, tucked gently and filled to the brim. A few weeks ago, when I had just come home from the hospital, we laid in my bed and opened up the jar. She pulled out the first folded note, read it to herself, and said, “This one is my favorite. It’s is absolutely you, Mom. It says, “She believed she could, so she did.” How did I get lucky enough to have a daughter that believes in me so?
So, as you probably know, I was out of commission for a while with Covid. I had to go to the ER and then was admitted into the hospital for three days. When I got home, I was told I must rest, slow down, learn how to nap and take it easy. It’s funny, side note, that just before I got sick, I started reading John Mark Comer’s book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I guess God was going to make me practice - the hard way - what I was learning. But, a few days of rest and I was back to work. I did take it easy, though, and coached only one one-on-one client and then coached the clients in my group coaching program. I left the day feeling more alive and energized than I had felt in weeks.
I love my job! In fact, that’s exactly what I yelled throughout my house when I ended my group coaching call. I love to get to watch amazing transformation happen right before my eyes. But as I was reveling in it all, I suddenly remembered those people who, from the beginning, told me how I was supposed to do it in order to “do it right.” See in the Life Coaching world, you’re supposed to - and I wish you could see my fingers doing air quotes - you’re supposed to coach clients one-on-one until you don’t have any more time in your weekly schedule to add one more client. Then you can start coaching in groups. I’ve literally heard more seasoned coaches say that there’s no way - no way - you could coach a group of clients and get results if you haven’t “paid your dues” in time as a one-on-one coach.
As I reflected on this, I mentioned it to my daughter as she walked through the kitchen. She said, “Yeah, I heard you say how much you love your job.” And without divulging any private client information, I shared with her how I’m getting to watch each one in my group coaching program have ah-ha moments that are radically changing how they love themselves, love others, and are changing their world around them. And I shared with her how “they” said I couldn’t do it. And I loved her response. She said, “Well, they should just know that the minute they tell you you can’t do something, you’re going to go out there and prove them wrong.” That’s when it hit me. I just need more doubters in my life. I need more and more people telling me all of the things that I can’t do, all of the things that I can’t accomplish. Because then that’s exactly what I will go out and do. And do it well!
Now, I wasn’t really sure where this thought came from. Stubbornness? Insecurity? A root of performance-based identity or love? I’m always looking for the weakness. Maybe that’s the Life Coach in me trying to find the lie-based belief.
But what if it’s not coming from a place of weakness at all? What if it’s strength? What if it’s empowerment? I like a challenge. I like to stretch my brain to find solutions. I like to dream big. To consider the impossible. So, what if it’s coming from a place of possibility, instead? I talked about being a “possiblist” in episode number 41 - I’m Alive. What do I do now? It’s a word made up by professor and physician Hans Rosling in his book Factfulness. John Maxwell introduced Rosling’s concept in his book Change Your World. He says that when you think like a possibilist, you are actively on the lookout for the possibilities in the world.
Since I became a widow, I find that I have lots of new widows contacting me. They say things like, “I’m stuck. I don’t think I can move forward.” Or “Everything is lost, gone. There’s nothing that gets me up in the morning. Nothing to live for.” Or “What am I supposed to do now?” and “How do I have another beautiful life?”
One thing that Professor Rosling said that really resonated with me was that he had this strong belief in possibilities because he saw something come to life somewhere before in his past, and it filled him with hope that it could happen again. That is was possible again.
Sometimes, all we need to do is to look at our past to know that something is possible for our future. Now, we know we can’t change the past. But if dreams were birthed in the past; if plans were made and visions cast previously, we know they can be created again. No, they probably won’t be the same. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be fulfilling and good and beautiful.
The thing is that all of the dreams and hopes and plans of the past were made from a decision. You made a choice then. And the good news is that you can still make choices today. That’s where my strength came from in relation to the quote, “She believed she could, so she did.” She believed. A belief is just something that is so strong in you that you think that thought consistently. You believe it. Beliefs form your consistent thoughts. And thoughts are a choice. Case in point: have you ever believed something - perhaps something that was taught to you or told to you as child and you just believed it? (ehm, Santa Clause) And then as you got older, you got new information or teaching that gave you cause to believe something new? And then you made the cognitive choice to believe the new thing. You choose to think differently.
Well, that’s what we get to do every day. And it comes from a place of strength and empowerment. Not weakness. It was a choice I made to believe that I could figure out how to live on my own; to believe that I could move forward and create another beautiful life; that life was beautiful and I had so much to live for, and so much purpose, so much to do for God’s kingdom. And out of those thoughts, I created possibilities in my life, because I began to be actively on the lookout for them. And it all started from a choice. A choice not to be stuck anymore. A choice to live! And truly live. To live from a place of belief that I could do anything I set my mind to. Including living another beautiful life after the death of my husband. Just making the cognitive choice opened up a world of opportunities and possibilities.
So, though I do get charged by any doubter in my life - anyone telling me I can’t do something, I know that I don’t really need doubters in my life to make things happen. I can just choose to begin believing something new, and then watch my thoughts take a shift. It’s been proven time and again that the way we think creates certain outcomes in our life. Because the way we think determines how we feel. And we do things, or not do things, we behave a particular way, based on how we’re feeling. And those actions have results. If they’re positive actions, you might consider the results to be satisfying and fulfilling. If they’re negative actions, you might call them undesirable consequences or after-effects.
So, where are you today, my friend? Would “She (or he) believed she could, so she did” describe you? Or would “She believed she couldn’t, so she didn’t”? Your choice today. I want to encourage you to just decide that you’re going to begin believing something new today to replace those old stories that “It’s over,” “live is awful,” “I can’t enjoy living anymore.” Or whatever your thought is that’s keeping you from new opportunities and possibilities. I know I’m addressing the thoughts of some of the widows that I’ve been talking to. But this goes for anyone - any human - that’s believing they “can’t” or that “they’re stuck”. Just by changing your belief system to, “I can” (even if you have to add the caveat “I don’t know how yet, but I know I can). Or change it to, “I’m not stuck. I’m open to new possibilities.” These new thoughts will create new things in your life. Believe you can, my friend, and you will.
Friend, if you’re having a hard time creating new thoughts, or maybe you’re having a hard time even pin-pointing those thoughts that are making you feel stuck, I’d love to be your Life Coach and teach you the simple tools that will radically transform your life.
I’ve put a link in the show notes to my calendar to book a quick 30-minute chat to see if we’re a good fit to work together. Or you can visit my website tricizody.com and send me an email there. And while you’re there, don’t forget to grab that free training that you can apply today to begin experiencing your life in a whole new way.
Have a great week, friends! See you next Wednesday for the next episode of Another Beautiful Life podcast.