12/11/24
Hello friends, and welcome to episode number 174 - What I’ve Learned About Grieving Well.
I’ve been having conversations with people recently that are grieving right now. For various reasons. One whose son passed away and this will be their first Christmas without him. Another who just got laid off – a few weeks before Christmas. And one who is going through a very intense and challenging divorce. The holidays make it all the more difficult.
It’s important to acknowledge that grief arises from various types of losses and is not limited to death. It can include the loss of a dream, career, relationship, health, reputation, or position. So, in case you’re grieving something right now and are worried how you’re going to make it through, I wanted to share What I’ve Learned About Grieving Well. This is in fact chapter 6 of my book that just release, Another Beautiful Life: A Christian’s Journey to Finding Peace and Hope in Brokenness, which is available in paperback and eBook on Amazon right now.
So I thought I’d share just a few of those things that I’ve learned over the past 7 years. Obviously, I go into greater detail in the book, but here are 10 things I’ve learned about grieving well that have radically changed my life: Number one, and I think most important, is that there are various degrees of grief and various emotions that you’re going to feel. You’re not going to move from stage to stage of grief in a linear fashion. That’s an old, unsupported idea. Instead, you’re going to move in a cyclical manner from one emotion to another. And back again. Grief is an ongoing, ever evolving experience. And the way that I am expressing my grief at any given time is right…because I’m allowing myself to do it.
Number two, people grieve at their own pace and in their own way, with no set timetable. And because everyone is different and is also being directed by their past experiences, perceptions, present circumstances and attachments, etc., we need to understand that no two people will grieve in the same way. This allows us to extend grace to ourselves and others as we approach grief with empathy and understanding. Comparing or judging another’s grief is truly unloving because it invalidates their experience. But expecting someone to get through their grief at a faster pace and get on with life, is also dismissive and uncaring. I’ve learned to allow my family and other loved ones to grieve in their own way and at their own pace.
Number three, grief is a gift. Grief reflects love, dreams, and meaningful connections. Embracing grief instead of fearing or avoiding it allows you to process your emotion, acknowledging and appreciating the deep, emotional connections you have had. Grieving is a natural response to love and loss, not an issue requiring resolution. I’ve learned I’m going to grieve my husband’s loss for the rest of my life. It will be with me forever. And that’s okay.
Number four, emotions are temporary, manageable, and having them mean nothing about you. Allowing emotions to flow and practicing awareness can help navigate grief more effectively. Emotions like sadness, fear, or doubt are not indicators of weak faith but part of the human experience designed by God. I’ve learned that God has created me to feel and experience emotions, and I can allow them to come.
Number five, crying has a purpose.Emotional tears differ chemically from regular tears, containing stress-related hormones that may be flushed out through crying. This natural process, potentially accompanied by endorphin release, can help relieve stress and improve mood, making crying a gift with a physiological and emotional purpose. I’ve learned to cry when I need to.
Number six, you have permission to grieve.Instead of resisting or denying emotions, you can give yourself permission to experience and express all of your emotions authentically. You don’t need to apologize for not being able to handle social events right now. And you certainly don’t need to say you’re sorry for crying. Grief is an extremely personal and subjective experience. Allow yourself to do it your own way, not how someone else thinks you should. And not even that ugly inner critic that loudly and obnoxiously condemns your for still grieving. Giving yourself permission to feel in the moment are vital steps in navigating grief and your ultimate healing. I’ve learned to accept wherever I am right now in my grief journey.
Number seven, grief and happiness can coexist.We know that grief during holidays can be overwhelming. It may be confusing because your feelings of loss can clash with opportunities for joy, happiness, and gratitude. However, joy in any particular moment can coexist with sorrow. And there is no reason to judge yourself for feeling happy or joyful, even as you grieve. I’ve learned that I’m allowed to feel happy and joyful, even while I’m grieving my loss.
Number eight, gratitude improves mental, physical, and spiritual health.Scientific research and biblical teachings highlight the transformative power of gratitude. It fosters resilience, reduces depression and anxiety, improves physical health, and connects us spiritually with our heavenly Father. Studies show that gratitude reshapes the brain's function, encouraging positive perspectives and healthier reactions to life's challenges. So, being thankful then is genuinely changing the chemistry in your brain. And because there is a strong, reactionary connection between the mind and the body, if what the mind is thinking is not healthy, it will somehow manifest somewhere in the body. According to the article, people who are grateful feel less aches and pains, have less stress, suffer insomnia less, and have stronger immune systems. I’ve learned that bring grateful, even if through tears, positively impacts the way my mind and body functions.
Number nine, there is a biblical call to gratitude in suffering. The Bible emphasizes giving thanks in all circumstances, not for all circumstances. First Thessalonians 5, verse 18. In the middle of our heartbreak, we can give thanks to the One who is close to the brokenhearted. When our bodies are broken and worn out, we give thanks for the One who is the wound dresser and Jehovah-Rapha, our healer. We give thanks in our poverty, knowing that Jesus is our source and supply of everything we need. This perspective acknowledges the suffering while focusing on God's sustaining presence. I’ve learned that my grief does not excuse me from the commands of scripture to give God thanks in all things. And I’ve also learned that when I do acknowledge who He is, even as I suffer, I experience a peace that surpasses all human understanding.
Number ten, there is freedom through worship. Songs become an expression of faith and trust in the middle of grief. Singing truth can become a way of surrendering in the midst of pain, acknowledge God’s power, and express hope, even when deliverance or resolution is not immediately visible. Singing songs of truth and declaring God’s goodness and faithfulness can break the chains that keep us stuck in unbearable sorrow, bringing freedom and peace. I’ve learned that my worship, then, is a catalyst to the renewal of my spirit, and releases me from the figurative prison of grief and fear.
Friend, these are just a few of the things I share in my new book. Your healing from deep sorrow and brokenness will be determined by how well you learn to grieve. God does not desire you to stay stuck in your pain. He has provided you a way of understanding more about your grief, and how to surrender in faith filled trust that allows you to move towards healing. There is more and more healing available every day as you allow yourself to grieve well.
If you’ve got a sense that you’re not grieving well, I can help you. I have a waitlist for Life coaching in 2025 and I’d love to add your name to it. But first, let’s have a brief chat to see if we’re a good fit. You can book a free call on my calendar. The link is in the show notes.
Also, I’ve put a link in the show notes for this week’s Listener’s Guide that has a few prompt questions to help you work through this topic on your own. Be sure to grab that. I’d also invite you to dig a little deeper in this topic in my book. Purchase that currently on Amazon.
Have a wonderful week, friends. See you next Wednesday for the next episode of Another Beautiful Life.
SHOW NOTES:
In order to experience complete healing after loss, tragedy, heartbreak, or anything that leaves you with great sorrow, it’s important to learn to grieve well.
Join me today as I share from my book, Another Beautiful Life: A Christian’s Journey to Finding Peace and Hope in Brokenness. I reveal 10 things I learned about grieving well that were a catalyst to my healing after my husband’s suicide.
Are you wondering how Life Coaching works? Would you like a free, 30-minute session? Click this link to set up a Consult Call: https://calendly.com/triciazodylifecoach/30min
Get the free, printable Listener’s Guide here: https://www.triciazody.com/guide
Buy my book on Amazon here: https://a.co/d/hoPKsBO
Комментарии